Sunday, August 12, 2012

Whether Love or Arranged, It Doesn't Matter

As soon as we hear the word Marriage, everyone has some pre-conceived notions or thinking, some are good and some are not so good. This may be out of our own experience or seeing our parents or relatives or brothers or sisters who are married. Whether you like it or not, but Marriage is a commitment. Whether it's Love marriage or Arranged marriage both male and female have to commit themselves to each other. These days divorces are happening at an alarming rate. Whether its Love or Arranged, the reasons given for getting divorced are pretty silly. Before we proceed to determine whether Love marriage is right or Arranged marriage, let us ask a simple question, "Why should someone marry..?"  Yes, every parent, every girl and every guy should ask this question to themselves. Questioning doesn't mean you are against marriage but a better way to understand and deal with things which you will encounter after you are married.

In India, getting married is not an option but a compulsion. Just see how our parents react just in case if we say, "I will just think about the marriage" when they ask you, when are you getting married. In Life everything is a choice and our lives depend upon the choices we make. When you live your life as an individual its different but when you have to live along with someone its a different story. Every person has his or her own tastes, lifestyle, aspirations, dreams, way of living, thinking, behaviour, perception about life, about people...I mean so many things have to come together. So when two people are coming together to live a life of togetherness, its all about accepting some 'not- so-good-things' about the other person and sacrificing some of our own beliefs. Its a give and take policy. Always prepare yourself for a worst case scenario and thereby you can be more happier rather than expecting that after marriage everything will be good and then getting hurt later when things don't go as you had expected it to be.

It is so important to ask oneself as to why should we get married. I know many will be shocked or surprised to hear this question, but that is the way I like to look at it. There are people who get married and after that they start thinking as to why did they get married and how to go about it. They start feeling lonely. Because what is at stake is the life of atleast two people (Bride and Groom) along with their respective families. I feel instead of giving importance as to whether Love Marriage is right or Arranged Marriage, one should try to understand the true meaning of marriage. It is a culmination of the likes and dislikes of two people who are from different backgrounds. Do you remember in our school days how our teachers used to tell us that we should ask questions, no matter how silly or irrelevant it is. The main objective behind it was to make us to think on our own and thereby making us appreciate things in a much better manner. So when we are taking one of the most important decisions of Life of getting married, asking this simple question would surely help you in arriving at a proper decision. At the end of the day, it's we who have to live our lives and we are responsible for our own actions and not others.

Now coming to the question of which is right, Love or Arranged. I feel this question is an illusion. Yes it is. You can never say which is right, because it is very subjective and depends on case to case. As we have seen, there are couples who are happy in Love marriage as also in Arranged Marriage. I would like to look at it in a simple way. Love or Arranged, it is just an option. You can choose either of them. No matter which one you choose you have to make it work, it doesn't happen by itself. Many people are so caught up in the enthusiasm leading to the wedding day and what happens on the day itself, they just forget to think or not much thought has been put into as to how they are going to live their lives for the next 40-50 years after the wedding day. That is why we see some couples who are so much love with each other fail to make it successful. So the question is not which one is right, but Can you make it work in either of the case.

I would like to end it by saying that, "Marriage is not like a Taxi ride where you pick someone, drop him or her off and move on. But, it is a long drive where you and your better half sitting next to each other, experiencing the potholes (the early difficulties you experience in marriage of understanding each other) of the city roads and zooming in on the Highway sharing the feelings of being lonely yet being together for each other."

This is an entry for the contest 'Love Marriage Ya Arranged Marriage!' on IndiBlogger. Also check out the facebook page of the serial 'Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage' -  http://www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange.

Prashanth

PS: Image has been taken from Google Images.

22 comments:

  1. The thought in the end is a winner in its self.
    Two very important aspects you have covered here. Firstly, why it is it such a compuslsion in India. I agree with your views, but we are so pulled by the society, the force being so strong that almost 90% of us succumb to it.
    And second the age old question Love or arranged. For me, it is just a medium to get married, nothing else.

    All the best for the contest, a strong contender!

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    1. Thanks a lot Jenny, appreciate it..:) Agree with you, we live in a society and have to follow some things whether we like it or not. I hope that slowly things will change..:)

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  2. yes, no matter which one you go for but what matters is how you make it with your better half, once you are in marriage.....well penned and all the best for the contest.

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    1. Thanks Irfanuddin, appreciate it..:)

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  3. Absolutely Prashanth ... you reflected my thoughts so well.... I wholeheartedly agree with you... The argument - "Love marriage ya Arranged Marriage" in itself does not make quite sense to me

    -- Rajrupa | Riot of Random

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    1. Really appreciate you visiting my blog and commenting on it, thanks a lot..:) Yep, it really doesn't make sense, Love or Arranged.

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  4. nice post :) .. .keep blogging :)

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    1. Thanks for visiting my blog, appreciate your comment..:)

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  5. Short, sweet, yet very pertinent! All the best :)

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    1. Thanks Ash, thanks a lot...all the best to you too...:)

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  6. Most of the people don't know why they are getting married, more so, they don't know what kind of life partner they want. I agree with Ash, it is very aptly written. Last paragraph had an element of fun too.

    All the best Prashanth.:)

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  7. Thanks for the wishes, Saru..:) Yeah, wanted to end the topic on a lighter note yet conveying the intended message.

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  8. The thought at the end is great, yes, you are virtually compelled to get married, else the society looks at you like an alien

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    1. Thanks for visiting my blog, appreciate your comment...:) A lighter end to a never ending discussed topic. But I feel these days things are slowly changing for the better and yes still lot needs to be done.

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  9. Love and arranged marriages are ways to get married. Some prefer arranged, some love. Which is better is left for personal interpretation I think.

    You've summed it up very well in the end. The similarities in the last para is perfect!

    All the best Prashanth for the competition..

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    1. Thanks Binu...:) Yes it's both are just two ways to get married. I feel these days people are smart enough to make their own decisions. I also like the last para.

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  10. Dude, a very mature perspective :)

    I like the way to built the case that the question is not important, but the intent and by the end, you made the question irrelevant :)

    Good show, Prashanth.. all the best fr the contest man. :)

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    1. Thank you for visiting my blog and for that nice comment..:) Appreciate it.

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  11. Hi,

    I agree this question is an illusion. I liked the way you have weaved together and the last part about a long ride is bang on. All the best to you too :)

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    1. Thanks for visiting my blog Ghazala, appreciate your comment...:) It is an illusion and hope that we can all clear that illusion.

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