Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Don't be Ashamed

I have already written about this topic (mood swings, PMS, etc). But I was compelled to write about it again. Frankly speaking, I didn’t know earlier that females have some kind of problem which affects them emotionally and they feel tired because of it. I had no idea not even a clue that something like this existed. So someone had to tell me that girls have issues which are specific to them.

I got to know about girly issues from my friend who is a girl. We both are good friends. But sometimes we used to fight over small issues. I used to ask her something (which coincidently happened to be on those days when she used to have her regular mood swings and this I came to know later when she told). So, during those conversations, she used to get angry and her replies were kind of not normal which used to make me angry. We used to fight for small things. This resulted in misunderstandings.  Later we both decided to meet and clear those misunderstandings. During the meeting, she asked me, “Do you know that girls experience some kind of hormonal imbalances and mood swings” I never knew anything about this so I replied, “I have no idea” She then started explaining to me as to what is it and in the process, she said, “How shamelessly I am telling about all this to a guy” She told that sometimes her angry replies were because of her mood swings and it was difficult to control her emotions. After that I realized that some of her “angry replies” were not intentional. It was truly an eye opener for me.
After my first blog about girl issues, PMS and my friend being ashamed to share it with me, I realized that there is nothing to ashamed of. It’s just the way females are born and its part of nature. But sadly, we have made this thing to look as shameful as one can think of. Forget about girls discussing about it with others, they can’t even tell about it. I don’t know whether girls discuss about these things among themselves freely, but I feel that girls should come forward and speak about this.
From a guy’s point of view, we never know what girls may be experiencing and how it’s gonna affect them unless someone tells us. For girls also, even though they are willing to tell about their issues, they might be compelled to not to do so wondering what others may including the person to whom they are gonna tell, think about them. When my friend told me that she will be very tired and emotionally sensitive during those times I felt bad. Now since I know it, I will be careful as to not to speak in anger mood and try to be calm when she is going through one of her mood swings.

I have humble request to make to all the girls who feel ashamed of themselves when they want to talk about their issues. You have not done any crime. It’s just that the society has branded something as bad to talk without using any common sense. There is nothing wrong in talking about and one should feel free to talk about it. If my friend had not told or rather not discussed about this with me, I probably would not have known. It’s perfectly ok to talk about it and the more we talk about this openly the more better it is and we all can make the world a better place to live. By sharing these things you are doing a great favour to yourself and to all the other girls. Girls should tell their guy friends with whom they are comfortable with, about what they are going through and I am sure guys will understand. I know it’s not easy but sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone to change things. So, don’t be ashamed of who you are and what you are.

Keep Smiling,
Prashanth.

15 comments:

  1. Prashanth - That is one thing you have got there. Not about the PMS, which I don't completely agree.. but about the taboo on the topic of menstruation, the silence and all the ignorance that keeps tossing around..

    My little share of women, tell me not every woman have the same kind of effect with the balance of hormones in the air..the moods, do swing, but all not in the same way..

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    1. Thanks for your feedback and for the info you have shared in the second para, I didn't know that. Will check about that on the net for sure....:)

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  2. I used to ashamed for a long time, but then I matured and realised..its not something wrong, its biology and it is very very natural.. I have opened up since then.. I do share this with a lot of my girl friends but at the same have time, have started talking about it with my closest guy friends as well.. I mean they should be aware of the sudden outbursts and mood swings.. not fair to keep them in the dark as well!

    You know, its like sex.. EVERYBODY does it at some point of time, but we are still ashamed to talk about it!! Great post Prashant!

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    1. Very well said Jenny, completely agree with you. Good to know that you do share about mood swings with your closest guy friends, hope others will also do that. As you rightly said, "not fair to keep them in the dark as well" since this is not some dark secret or something like that, but we have all made it as one.

      I know it's like sex, but nowadays things are slowly changing, as we start questioning things. Thanks for your feedback...:)

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  3. Again this habit is something which are taught to us by our elders. And i seriously don't understand the reason behind it. I remember my mum telling me that i'm not supposed to talk about all this with my father or my brother. Although, we spoke freely about it with doctors.

    This "don't-tell-your-dad" thing has become so ingrown that its difficult for me now to admit that I'm going through it in front of my dad. But still I've managed to grow over my apprehensions and I can actually tell few of my guy friends as to when I'm going through it.

    And don't worry we girls discuss everything abt it amongst ourselves and believe me we sympathise and also have fun at it. We devise several code words so that we can talk about it in front of everyone w/o them knowing that we are talking abt it :P

    Kudos...

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    1. Well hope our elders do understand someday that it is fine to discuss it anyone. Good to know that you do discuss about these issues with your girl friends and that too freely and also with your guy friends...:)

      Hope so in future, you don't need "code words" to discuss or talk about this in front to everyone....:)

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  4. I wish every teenage girl and young guy reads this. I really really do.

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    1. Hey thanks for those kind words. I really hope things change....:)

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  5. "Never trust anything that bleeds for 3 days and yet won't die" said the wise one. hahaha! just kiddin. There are women who carry themselves so well during these days and some who make a huge fuss. The more they make excuses out of these obviously natural issues, the more they promote themselves as the vulnerable lot; quite contrary to the image of the "I can do anything" woman in the contemporary scenario. However, these are the days when they like to have the understanding, sensitive and emotional man besides them again contrary to the bad boy, rough around the edges brat they prefer otherwise. SO may be guys who are around women (unfortunately) during such times can be reminded of having some boy's day out or hit the road... basically "escape" asap. Think about it...

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    1. Appreciate your feedback VST, partly agree with what you said about girls making a big fuss about it. I feel (actually don't know) that not every girl would want to make a fuss about these things.

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    2. Never trust anything that bleeds for 3 days and yet won't die - This is hilarious!

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  6. To the point Prashanth!! Things are changing though, at least in the metros. Girls are smart enough to handle these issues and guys are educated enough to know when to argue and when to listen and let go :)

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    1. I agree with you Binu, things are changing. Hope it changes everywhere and not only in metros...:)

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  7. Refreshing to read a guy write this. I have personally not spoken to any guy about it. The few who have tried to broach on the topic have received scientific, non emotional answers :) Reading this post reminds me of a quote - I have PMS and GPS too ; I am a bitch now, and I will find you! Ha Ha!

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    1. Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting on it, appreciate it. Just making an effort to clear all the unnecessary things surrounding the girly issues....Cheers..:)

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